RAISING RESPONSIBLE KIDS
OF ALL AGES
How do you get your child to take responsibility
when he or she refuses to accept it?
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TIPS FOR PARENTS
- Teaching kids responsibility takes a long time.
- Don’t expect sudden miracles.
- Continue to talk & teach about responsibility as your child grows.
- Make sure your child feels the consequences of not taking responsibility instead of you
taking the consequences
FOR EXAMPLE
If your child refuses to place his clothes in the hamper to be washed
- Leave them on the floor of his room
- Shut the door
- Don’t wash the clothes
- When your child panics about not having clean clothes, show them the way to the washer
& dryer
RESIST THE TEMPTATION
- Don't rescue your kids when they suffer the consequences of not taking responsibility.
- If your teenager calls from the library in the middle of winter wanting a ride home because
they're cold & didn’t wear a coat, empathize with her situation, but don’t help her out unless
it could be a life threatening situation. - Something as simple as a walk in cold, brisk weather can teach a child the benefits of
wearing a coat in the winter.
TALK LESS
- Kids often refuse to take responsibility because they know their parents will keep reminding them to do so.
- Be clear that you’ll give ONE reminde & then it’s up to them.
LEAD BY EXAMPLE
- Remember that lessons in responsibility always start with you!
- If your kids hear you saying 1 thing & then doing the opposite, they'll be more likely to
follow your example rather than follow your command.
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FOR KIDS 5 & UNDER
Break responsibilities into small, easy-to-do tasks
that are age appropriate for young children
FOR EXAMPLE
- Keep a laundry basket or bucket handy for your child to place his or her toys in when
picking them up off the floor. - Everyone in the family can help to set the table.
1. You can set the dishes, glasses & breakable items, while your child places
a napkin next to each plate.
2. Older pre-schoolers can learn how to place knives, forks & spoons.
3. Monitor young children when they’re practicing responsibility.
4. You can help to keep them on task & keep them focused from distractions.
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FOR KIDS 6 - 9
Consider having time-frames for responsibilities.
FOR EXAMPLE
- You say that kids can’t watch TV until they’ve picked up their room or completed their
homework first. - They’re more likely to get their responsibilities done if they know they get to do something
that they really want to do afterward.
LET KIDS BE KIDS
but also expect them to take responsibility for their age.
- You need a balance between too many & no responsibilities.
- Talk about how important responsibilities are.
- Remind them that if you didn’t take the responsibility of cooking dinner, what
would happen? - What if someone didn’t take out the garbage for a month?
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FOR KIDS 10 -12 & TEENS 13 - 15
- Focus on kids actions not their reactions—to responsibility.
- Some will complain every step of the way but will finish their responsibilities, while others
will say they'll do it soon but never complete the task at hand.
If you’re wary of the tension in your home
around trying to get your teenager to take responsibility.
- Take a time out & take some time for yourself.
- Consider having a family responsibility time.
- Find a time that's good for your family.
- This usually happens when everyone is home to complete his or her responsibilities.
- Don’t allow anyone to leave until all the responsibilities are done properly.
- Slowly increase your child’s responsibilities as he or she ages.
- Many kids at this age can begin to mow lawns, babysit & perform other responsibilities.
- Teach them how to handle responsibilities well, monitor them & let them gradually master
their skills.
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FOR TEEN 16 - 18
- Monitor your teen’s stance on responsibility.
- Some teenagers become overly responsible & rarely make time to relax & have fun,
while others run at the mention of the word. - Share your observations with your teenager & help them to develop a more
balanced life about responsibilities. > - Be clear about your teenager’s responsibilities & the consequences of not
keeping up with them.
FOR EXAMPLE
- If your teenager gets a parking or a speeding ticket, be clear that he needs to pay for it
- not you. - If your teenager loses her mp3 player, he/she needs to find it and replace it.
1. You can help her look
2. You can be sensitive their loss but don't bail her/him out - Keep tabs on the way your teenager is taking responsibility for his/ her learning.
- By this age, your teenager should be more independent but it’s still a good idea to
continue to monitor his or her progress so that you’re always aware of what’s happening. - Ask questions if needed & lend support but allow your teen to take responsibility
for his/ her life.
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