KOSHER WOMAN SPOTLIGHT

Caregiver assisting with grandparent living in the home of her daughter & her family

A SANDWICH GENERATION CHALLENGE

The sandwich generation is the term coined to describe adults
who are taking care of elderly parents while still raising their own children.


KW:  What has been your most difficult challenge as a Kosher woman?

SG:   I had been married for around 15 years, blessed with 4 children, a nice house & a good job when suddenly I found myself having to take care of my mother-in-law & my mother.

My mother-in-law was already living with us when my 85 year old mother tripped over a telephone wire & broke her femur (thigh bone) while volunteering.  I had to quit my job because during the 10 months she was hospitalized, I travelled to be with her every day, all day.  I came home to my husband & kids exhausted.  During this time, also, our youngest son was preparing for his Bar Mitzvah.
 
KW:   How have you overcome this challenge?
SG:    When I had to run to the hospital for the 10 months, B”H my husband shopped, cooked dinner & took care of the kids.

When my mom first came to live with us, we struggled to get her up the front stairs, into the main floor powder room & to all her doctor appointments.  I had
to become an expert in supervising her diabetes.  She was a 'brittle diabetic' & sometimes went into a Diabetic Coma. 

An additional challenge was learning about accessibility, health & legal issues.  
So we renovated our house to accommodate her disability, put in a ramp, an accessible washroom & a main floor bedroom/sitting room. 

To help with the activities of daily living, we hired a live-in caregiver, which my mother paid for & this reduced my responsibilities. It  also gave me assistance in the home such as cleaning & food prep.  My mother assisted whenever she could do small table sitting activities such as making eggrolls, cabbage rolls, cutting pickles, peeling vegetables, etc.

Having my mother at home with us made it easy to do Bikur Cholim right in our home!   It also gave our children the opportunity to see the chesed of caring for aging parents first hand. They would all come home & visit her for a while before going to play or do their homework.

I felt really good about taking care of my mother as the other choices were not so suitable for her.  I know she was happy with us and having a caregiver eased the burden of taking care of her myself, since I had work & handle the responsibilities of raising our kids as well.

So many different stages of life.  It certainly makes life interesting & meaningful. 

Wheelchair  Handicap ramp handicapped bath tub 

 

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