Q & A
Who Gets To Name The Baby?
- In one of his letters, the Lubavitcher Rebbe quotes the Daas Zekeinim Mi Baalei Ha
Tosafos that after Yehudah married the daughter of Shu'a, he named their first baby
'vayikra shemo Er' & they called his name Er. - Regarding the second baby, the Torah says, 'vatikra shemo Onan' & she called his
name Onan. - The Third baby, Shelah, was given his name by his mother because Yehudah was out
of town 'v'hayah v'Chsiv belidta oso. - So the Lubavitcher Rebbe writes that we should follow this order, alternating between
parents,
- Rav Soloveitchik used to say, 'My name is Yoshe Ber' & I was the first child born to my
father & I was named after my great-grandfather. The Kasha is that the mother has the
right to name the first baby. So how come my father named me after his grandfather?"
He explained, that my grandfather Rav Chaim visited my mother when she had the baby
& said, 'Al pi minhag' had &'al pi din', you have the right to name the first baby. I don't
know what that meant, al pi din ,but so many years went by since my father,Rav Yoshe
Ber Soloveitchik, the beis Ha-levi passed away & no one was named after him. So you'd
do me a big tovah if you name the baby after my father.
Should Couples Take Into Account Their Parents' Wishes
When Naming The Baby
- It's a good idea, but kibud av va'eim doesn't mean you have to obey parents if they tell
you whom to marry, where to go to graduate school, what to do for a living, where to live,
etc. We assume in the Shulchan Aruch that it's not included. - 'Morah av' means I have to have respect for my parents & 'kibud av' means I have to
service them. So if they need a lift somewhere, if they need someone to shop for them, if
they need someone to take out the garbage, if they someone to fee them, I have to take
care of their needs. But that they should tell me what to do? It's my child & I have the
right to give the name. - I remember I once told Rabbi Zevulum Charlop, dean emeritus if YU Reits program that
the Chazon Ish is quoted as saying that if you name a baby after someone in the parshas ha'shavu'a, it's a segulah for the baby. If you name the baby after a niftar, it's not a
segulah for the baby, but it's a segulah for the niftar. And if you name the baby after
two different niftarim, it's neither a segulah for the niftar nor a segulah for the baby. - So Rabbi Charlop said, 'Everyone says like that. It's not just the Chazon Ish.' He said,
My parents wanted to name me Zevulun after my great-grandfather. Zevulun very often
appears in the parshas ha'shavu'a, but if it hadn't appeared the week I was born, my
parents wouldn't have given me that name. Rabbi Zevulun's father was brought up in Yerushalayim in the early 1900s & he said this shitah was pervasive among the city's mekubalim.
Can A Brother Hug His Sister
- The Rambam writes that it's meguneh (distace full) even though there's no erotic pleasure,
so it's' not proper to do a davar meguneh. But what often happens is that the boys go to
Eretz Yisrael, become 'b'nei Torah & then when their sisters hug them at the airport when
they come back, they don't know what happened & the sister doesn't understand why he doesn't hug me anymore. So if she doesn't appreciate the idea of a davar meguneh, you
can hug her because me'ikar hadin it's really muttar. - There was a boy that asked me a similar shailah. Whenever his great aunt used to come
to visit, she would give him a hug. So I told him it's meguneh but if his grandmother's
sister doesn't appreciate that idea, you can hug her & kiss her. - 50 years ago Rabbi Moshe Feinstein said 'Zei night kein batlan' which means don't
act like an idiot
.
When Should You Say Tefillas Haderech?
- If you're traveling within a city, even if it's dangerous, you don't say tefillas haderech.
- 'Haderech' by definition means michutz la'ir (in the city).
Rav Soloveitchik assumed that Chazal institute tefillas haderech because the Gemara
says that 'kol hadrchim b'chekas sakanah.' There's always a bit of a sakanah when
you go on a highway.- Rav Soleveitchik said that when he used to commute from Boston to New York, he said
tefillas haderech at first, but then he got used to the plane & stopped saying it because
he wasn't nervous at all. - Whenever there's a safek sakanah that's nowhere near 50/50, it depends on each
individual person. Many people commute every day & they now the was so well that they
can drive the care in their sleep. - Rabbi Yaakov Kamenetsky said you should say tefillas haderech even though you're
not nervous but Rav Soloveitchi said he stopped saying tefilas hadrech when he was no longer nervous. - The Gemora says you have to say tefillas haderech if you're going to travel a parsa.
A parsa is four mil, which according to the Mishnah Berurah is 18 minutes. Others say
it's really 22.5 minutes.
- The Mishnah Berurah says it means a distance. So if you travel a mil, you have to say
tefillas haderech even if you're going by car & will get there in five minutes. - Chacham Ovadia disagrees. He things you only say tefillas haderech if the trip is going
to take a minimum of an hour & a half. - Many have the practice to only begin saying tehillas haderech when they leave iburo shel
ir (the city limits).The first 70 Amos is considered iburo shel ir. The Acharonim say if you
travel by train you should tefillas haderech quickly because in half a minute you'll already
be chutz l'iburo shell ir. It's not right to say tefillas haderech when you're already
halfway to the other place. - I know that Rabbi Soloveitchik & Rabbi Breuer when traveling out of town by car, had
the practice to say tefillas haderech in the car before they even left.
Which Sefer Should Be On Top?
- Strictly speaking, sefarim don't have a Kedusha, so you can put a Gemara on top of a Chumash.
- But the Achronim have a chumra that you shouldn't put Nev'im (the book of the
prophets) on top of a Chumash or a Gemara on top of a Tanach. - You should treat them as if they were really written bikdusha (with holyness) even
though our sefarim are printed by non-Jews.
- So you only need to be careful with a sefer written by a Jew on parchment.
- Yes, if it's written on a Klaf (parchment) but we treat all sefarim the same way.
- Just like you're not allowed to put a Gemara on a written Tanach, we don't put a Gemara
on top of a printed Tanach.
Can you Quote A Pasuk By Heart
- The Torah says, "Ksav lecha es hadvarim ha'ei laeh ki al pi hadvarim he'eilah karati it'cha bris v'es Yisroel.
- The Gemara interprets this pasuk as follows: The Ribono Shel Olam told Moshe
Rabbeinu "I want you to write down only ' hadvarim ha'eilah,only Torah
Shebichsav," not Tora Shebaal Peh. - Torah Shebaal Peh has to be baal peh.
Can You Draw The Sun?
- The Gemara has a din which is in the Shulchan Aruch.
- You're not allowed to draw a picture of the sun, the moon or the starts.
- A lot of people draw stars or the sun that's k'neged hadin.
- You're not allowed to even to have picture that doesn't look realistic.
- If you draw a circle with rays coming out it, that represents the sun & it's a biblical
prohibition. 'Lo saasun iti,' the pasuk says. - You're not allowed to make a picture of those with Me in the heavens. The sun, the
moon & the stars in the mador hatachton (the sky).
- You're not allowed to draw pictures of angels in the heavens which is the
mador hatachton. - The heavens & sky are two different things,so parents shouldn't let their children draw
the sun.
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