IMPROVE YOUR MARRIAGE
MOST COUPLES ARGUE
Couples can stay married even with frequent arguments because afterwards
- Spouse is supportive of their goals & life style
- Spouse responds to most of their needs
- Life goes back to normal
- If this is how arguments go in your home, then it's ok to have them
MARRIAGE ISSUES
Expectations
- We all go into marriage with certain expectations
- Most of the time, marriage is the opposite of what we expected
- We romanticize marriage & become disillusioned once those romantic expectations aren't met
- Unmet expectations are a major source of conflict in marriages
Money problems
- Most couples argue over bills, debt, spending & other financial issues
- How you decide to deal with money problems in your marriage will determine whether those problems have a negative or positive effect on your marriage
Children
- Discipline, diet & other parenting issues can be sources of disagreement between couples
- It's all right for spouses to disagree on issues when they discuss parenting but eventually
they have to come to an agreement - Parents need a united front when it comes to disciplining their children
Marital Relations
- Frequency, quantity, quality are all common sources of stress & disharmony in a marriage
- In a Jewish marriage, you have the added stress of Ta'haras Ha'Mish'Pa'Chah
- The primary purpose of marital relation is to reinforce the marital bond
- Desire is not evil, but must be satisfied in the proper time, place and manner
Time Apart
- Often, couples have different schedules or jobs that demand travel
- A lack of quality time together serves to get people out of touch with each other
- Complaining can only make the situation worse
- Don't wait for your spouse to contact you
- Keep in touch by leaving short e-mail or text updates about what your day is like &
news about your family members
Household Responsibilities
- Couples often argue over how to divide household work
- Instead of arguing, sit down with your spouse & divide household chores fairly
- Couples often argue on how to do a household task
- Instead of arguing, just turn the task over to the spouse who says they want it done differently
Friends
- Not all friends are helpful to relationships
- Be sure you know the difference between a friend who will enhance your marriage & one
who can hurt it
Irritating habits
- Many people are married to someone who has one or more habits they find undesirable
- Don't be afraid to point out habits that irritate you but do so in a kindly manner
Family
- In-laws, siblings, children & step-children can all create stress within a marriage
- Be gentile, when coping with negative family issues
- Your spouse should come first
- There are times you have to be willing to step back & keep quiet
Personality Conflicts
There are personality traits that can doom a marriage to failure
- Conflict avoider?
- Do you like to "one-up your spouse?
- Do you bend over backwards to please your spouse, neglecting your needs in the process?
- If you answered yes to any of these, you need to work on changes for these negative personality traits
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AVOID
- Blaming
- Bullying
- Critizing
- Nagging
- Name Calling
- Placating - 'whatever you say'
- Stalling
- Rudeness
- Selfishness
- Unilateral Decisions about important issues
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THINK POSITIVE
- Although there are challenges in a marriage, they can also be opportunities for growth,
learning & accord - Whether any of the above issues continue to cause stress in your marriage or become an opportunity for growth is up to you.
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15 Hard Questions | Family Challenges| | Fighting | Nagging
Parenting Tips For Large Families | Raising Teens | Unspoken Rules
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